I've already got my fasting glucose down to 92, huzzah!  I know the tricks. And that was without meds, because I can't do the meds. Getting back on track real fast here.

I asked for a mullet yesterday, I got a shag. Still have a little hair in my eyes but I can live with it. Looks like this without the hair products, well, right now I have extreme bed head so it doesn't look like that at all. If you like Joan Jett you can click that pic to get to her website.

Lovely, my internet explorer crashed and now windows keeps running a loop trying to check for a solution to the problem that keeps interfering my other 3 browsers with popups. Happy Thursday.

Already got filet mignons out of the freezer for supper, grill up a big ol' onion and a pile of mushrooms later in a little butter as a yummy steak sauce we can slather over them. Basil and onion green beans with potatoes and a little bacon for flavor. And Scott is still working on the candied butternut squash.

Still figuring out my sleep balance, really miss springing forth in the wee hours and getting loads done before 6 a.m. Hovering between 6 and 8 hours most nights now, sometimes with a jet lagged hangover period that leaves me wondering where half the day went. My brain is really fighting this. Last night I woke up twice feeling like I was on the verge of full blown anxiety attacks, which I haven't had in ages, but nothing ever really happened. I'm just not used to sleeping this much. Funny, all it takes now is half a zyrtec and a couple of chewable benadryls for children. Benadryl doesn't normally make me sleepy because I'm so used to it, but zyrtec zombifies me like nothing else I've ever taken. I find that unsettling (and so does my regular doctor) but maybe the psychiatrist will back off now. Really tired of being a guinea pig going down a list of meds that do me dirty.

I've got three *big* articles I'm working on that I need to wrap up, and a couple of smaller ones. Was hoping to get them all done this week HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I know, even Scott thought that was ludicrous. But yeah, gonna WORK today. I'll eventually migrate back to my Walking Dead marathon, 8 more episodes to go.

By the way, putting this out on twitter and a couple of blogs again- I don't respond to new followers private messaging me with 'hi, how are you' kind of stuff. I am a pure aspie-Vulcan-Scorpio completely lacking a penchant for mindless chitchat, and that kind of stuff is like getting caught in a sticky spider web because once I get stuck answering vague questions I don't know how to extricate myself and get back on track working. A couple of people have tried really hard trying to get me to personally interact, following me around google+ and facebook and twitter and my blogs, and while I'm flattered at the range of people and geographical locations this is coming from, I really can't answer basic questions about myself a hundred times for a hundred different people. I'm also truly mystified how or why anyone could want to sit at a computer randomly asking strangers how their days are going. Immediate interaction is what twitter is for. Tag me on twitter with @pinkyguerrero if you have things you want to ask me, and that way more than one person at a time can benefit from the interaction. I do have a public email address, but I don't answer those either, sorry. Thanks. I'm preparing for the eventuality of public response with special twitters and a dotcom, but we're not there yet.

OK! Back to WORK!

I have purchased janikabanks.com No idea yet what I'll be doing with it. I once owned my dotcom many years ago and let it go because I didn't know what I was doing. But now I'm going to own it whether I ever use it or not. I'm *hoping* that will be a good place to put press releases and merch info one day.

I made a post called Better than wacked out zombie death in October after Scott's step-dad nearly died in his driveway on Scott's daughter's birthday. Kinda going through big stuff again, and once again, panic ensues. I'm not intentionally being mean, I'm just utterly tired of trauma dramas. I know Scott's mom is scared. I think the problem this time was his step-dad not allowing his *wife* in to talk to the surgeon before a simple laser surgery on his eye, he's memory/cognitive deficit and most likely didn't tell them he was on a blood thinner, most likely didn't follow instructions at home afterward and bent down to get something off the floor, a nick from surgery popped open and he's been bleeding out his eye for days now. One of my biggest complaints with the medical system is the stupid privacy thing where the person who is most wanting to help you and can actually save your life isn't allowed into a room to convey important info to the caregiver if the patient says so. This went on for 5 years in a nursing home with my mother, too. In spite of me having durable power of attorney and me signing papers commanding them to go through my dad when I couldn't be there, they kept insisting on asking my mother what her pain level was even when she was severely cognitive deficit and unable to talk, a smile and a nod from her and they assumed she wasn't in any pain, and she would cry after they left the room. She was raised to be polite and happy when you greet people, and that deeply ingrained habit was mistaken for years by busy caregivers as actual communication.

Stuff like this gets me upset, so moving on.

On days like this all plans fly out the window, so no plan today. I have a haircut at noon, hasta tame this crazy stuff before I go crazy and whack it myself. Which I'm well known for in my family. I've butchered my hair many times out of exasperation because I can't stand hair in my face, so I see today's appointment as a vital step in avoiding regret later, so I'm not canceling this again. I had to reschedule last week because I was iced in.

After that, who knows. Might be taking a xanax to my mil, and I'll probably be picking something up for supper. In the meantime, I'll take my notebooks with me in case I write more, and keep this song running through my head so I can deal with other people's stress. My psychologist has approved distraction as a means for coping with depression, anxiety, and all my little aspie-isms (some aspies call them oddizms, you know like autisms) in social situations. I keep something going on the back burner in my mind while people talk, and believe it not, that actually helps me respond more appropriately than if I toss all my stuff out and try to pay attention to the stressed out yapper. Again, not intentionally being mean, but some people have no idea how utterly patient I have learned to become, because it's so easy for a person like me to turn around and walk away while I'm having my own overload shutdown from other people's crises. If I can keep a rhythm going over and over in my head it becomes a neural stim and helps me cope with the sensory overload headaches I get. So here I go, hopefully the day gets better from here for all involved while I ponder on my dotcom purchase.

I think I've gotten more sleep in the last week or so than I have in the last 6. Don't know if that's got anything to do with my brain coming on more and more full blast because I've always been mind hyper until I hit fatigue walls and go into brain crashes, but I'm certainly feeling more organized. Could be an illusion, time will tell, lol.

Cooking up the last of the pepper bacon, kitchen window wide open for the crisp 45 degree breeze. Bacon smell is ten times better when it feels like you're outside, kind of like the outdoor cooking smells when you walk through Silver Dollar City on a chilly day. Makes it more fun. I'm not being paid to link this, but here you go if it sounds like something you'd want to check out.

The doctor crabbed at me a little yesterday, not bad, here I was doing so fantastic and slipped up ever so slightly, but he knows from experience that one slip leads to more slips till you're right back in diabetes land. My fasting glucose was 104. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I love this doctor, he really keeps after me to STRAIGHTEN UP!!!!  About 6 years ago I had a doctor look over blood work results and actually said she wasn't going to worry about my 107 glucose and didn't bother telling me that she noted my ketones were a mess. I should have been diagnosed prediabetic then, at the very least, but she let it go and kept shoving prescriptions at me for other stuff more related to her also ignoring my hypothyroidism to the point of begging her to let me see a specialist (poorly treated low thyroid has symptoms like arthritis and severe depression). Several months later she finally referred me because she didn't know what else to do with me. Thank God she abandoned her practice for hospital work (well, too bad for those patients) and I free floated for several months getting worse and worse until this guy took me in and IMMEDIATELY diagnosed me with full blown diabetes, an allergy to my inhaler of all things, and sent me to an endocrinologist right away for further thyroid testing. omg, the difference that has made in my life. I went from 147 fasting glucose back down into the 80's. Took some time, but man have I ever felt better. So he is NOT about to let me slip back into all that, and I really appreciate him for it.

Picked up a new mouse yesterday ~luv it~, some Alfred Dunner clothes on sale because I'm so tired of jeans and t-shirts, and a Sharknado tee because I HAVE to have that, haha.

Ok, need to get busy again, work doesn't do itself. More posts I'm working on, dishes to do, and I finally picked up a box of file folders like I said in my New Year's resolutions. Need some work music. Woke up with this blasting through my brain and it's still on repeat, so I may as well share, right? Have fun.

Missed taking my synthroid two days in a row last week and put on 3 pounds. Ug. I haven't missed like that in years. Oddly, though, I didn't have near the repercussion I did last time that happened, when I plunged into manic weeping and all my joints hurt.

Vizify is pushing me to upgrade to premium so I can make a new video. Really? Updating this little thing is worth $39.99? -> https://www.vizify.com/pinky-guerrero/twitter-video It's cute but I was underwhelmed by how little control I had over the editing. Just glad it didn't grab a spider picture. 

Today is a big follow up appointment from a really big blood workup, stuff we haven't checked since 2012, plus other stuffs we're keeping an eye on. I can already see the test results in my account. As worn out as I got over holidays, there is no sign of autoimmune flareup, yay!!! I've been lightly crippling around for a couple of months and finally getting past it, pretty sure it's all burrito-sitting. She's 15+ pounds now and my hyper reactive fibro takes it very personally when I over work.

Finally more research coming out about fibro. I was diagnosed before that medical term was even invented, I was so bad, and very young to have something like that. They know now that it's a nervous system disorder, not a muscle disorder. And now they're finding out hot spots can make it worse. That explains why when I sleep too hard/long I wake up with those zinger neck spasms and nasty headaches, my pillow gets real hot on my neck when I lay in one position too long. I'm still up in the air over whether not sleeping well is a potential cause, because it's a chicken or egg thing, right? I'm pretty sure I'd be sleeping better if the nervous system disorder weren't in the way, and they know people with fibro tend to have a brain/sleep problem with the alpha/delta thing. Pretty sure I was born with that. I still think having asperger's complicates it.

As crazy as Scott got when we went out grocery shopping together on Saturday (first day alone for a few hours in two months), I mean llama meat??? I still need to pick up a few things after the doctor today. Haven't been to the fitness center since November, need to get a routine back on that. Last winter I was at like a workout level 3 for something like ten minutes on the nustep, this fall I was up to workout level 5-6 for 20-30 minutes. I'll have to do a test run and see where I'm at today. Those things are a life saver when your feet hurt real bad (yes, I actually get severe fibro in my feet) and can't walk for exercise.

Might have to pick up a new mouse, too.  Tired of fighting with this one.

Last year at this time I had a pregnant daughter puking in my house, nasty pain, lupus flare up, and other extremely stressful extended family issues. Today I look back and think how awesome it is that my mil has called me maybe 3 times in the last 6 months because she's ever so blissfully not speaking to me or something (longest ever in 20 years- she's next door), burrito is on a regular daycare schedule because her mommy has an awesome job, the other family issues seem to have settled down (at least where my involvement is concerned), and I'm finally actually SLEEPING more every night than I have in the whole 20 years I've been in this house, yay! My new year is starting off pretty good. Can't say the same for Scott, he still gets the phone calls day and night and still dropping everything he's doing to fix other people's problems, and I'm watching him age and drag around taking care of all that on top of ridiculous amounts of overtime, and there's not much I can do but feed him good food and keep his clothes washed up.

I'm also thrilled that we finally tossed an old stereo system that fried out two years ago. If I ever get rich I'm going to have my systems put into the walls so they won't sit around looking like techno junk.

OH YEAH! Vacation! We're scheduling out our Houston trip, looks like May, and I'm doing so well this year that we may drive instead of fly, which means we can take stuff to the kids and do a little shopping. I think the first weekend in May we'll be in Dallas to see Holly and hopefully have a little mini SnarkAlecs meet up. (Disclaimer- I am not part of the SnarkAlec Radio team and this would not be an official meet up, just want to meet some fellow tweeps.) Last May I met Dan 'Theologian' from Xanga in Dallas, was way cool.

This is way too long. Time to buzz my brain and get to work before I have to leave.

I'm already getting sidetracked. Click the pic to check it out.

I'm tossing around a week/month plan in my head, knowing in all likelihood that simply planning it out will utterly jinx it. This has happened so many times. I make the coolest plans, I get an awesome week of good weather and clear calendar days coming up, and sure enough, every time I'm all set up to work in optimal conditions the phone calls start rolling in, dramatic crises from multiple directions uncannily on cue like I'm a cosmic target and the universe is gleefully toying with me. My biggest work challenges have nothing to do with my own health problems or writer's block (which I NEVER get) or even my own self distracting me, but other people panicking about minor problems that they build up to monumental tsunamis in their heads. So if I make a solid work plan this week, I can be assured it WILL be interrupted so continuously that I wind up getting the work done under all kinds of consequential stress.

So this plan isn't about making a schedule, but simply very briefly sketching out a few ideas rolling around in my head that I'm excited about and really really really wanna get done in the moments between whatever crap hits the fan in other people's lives.

I spent an hour and a half on the phone with a published author a couple days ago and part of the discussion was zombies. I'm not a zombie fan, but she is, and since I'm halfway through The Walking Dead marathon and feeling unsatisfied with it, I had a golden opportunity to bounce a few ideas off someone who has done a lot more thinking about zombies than I have. And I realized during the discussion that I actually have a LOT of experience in thinking zombie stuff because of Kai, the undead assassin from Lexx who is animated by protoblood.

I've already started work on an article tentatively titled The Dark Zone and the Cycles of Time, which I wanna get a little sciency in, so now I've got this cool idea for an angle on a Kai character post that I'm going to run with as well. I've been told by several people lately not to overthink stuff, but I'm aspie, I was ~born~ to overthink, that's my JOB. And part of my job is to make stuff even cooler than they already are, because that's how I see things. I'm not into dismissing bad story writing for knee jerk emotionally shocking action scenes, and there is where my other idea to write my Walking Dead review for Syfydesigns is born.

Someone out there is going "but what about your book?" Here's the dealio. I don't talk about even a quarter of what's going on in my life or my head, and most of you have no clue. I'm working on several books RIGHT NOW, I'm constructing multiple blogs, I'm a nonstop workaholic even when you don't see me doing stuff on the internet. A friend was surprised the other day when I suddenly got all techy in a facebook post the other day. I think that friend saw me as a happy go lucky bumbler until that post. I've worked hard to cultivate a much friendlier public me this time around because I don't want to be alone while I work. You guys will be seeing the *whole me* before this is all over.

The real question is not 'what about your book' but 'what are the variables and probability matrices that will force me to navigate through all the quantum causality popping up around me'. BACK TO WORK.