If there is one baby tarantula in the bathroom, there are probably a hundred more in the wall.  I'm not equipped to deal with this kind of stuff so early in the morning. I can't even face a search to get the true name of the spider because I feel like I'll throw up or faint if a spider pic pops up on my screen. They're the giant flat black kind that scuttle across highways around here and look like hell itself spat them out. They get bigger than your foot or hand and no one ever sees them because they're 'shy' and don't spin webs. Scott calls them wolf spiders, but those look more like the hairy black tarantulas like you see on TV. These flat ones don't look hairy. They just look nasty and the blackest black you ever saw and they move freaky fast, it's unreal. It's like seeing a shadow from hell in spider form. Anyway, yeah, there's a baby one IN MY HOUSE and not anywhere close to an outer wall, so I'm having a sickly wtf kind of morning. I'm hoping that its spider nature means it ate all its siblings before it finally came out of the wall looking for more food.

soothing -->  <-- soothing

Was reading somewhere that REM nightmares are worse than non-REM nightmares because the brain is more active. I've had so little healthy sleep over the last 20 years that my nightmares got way out of control, especially while I was on xanax. I'm finally very slowly learning to adapt to a healthier sleep schedule lately, thanx to zyrtec (*nothing* else works) and I'm noticing that the horrificness level of my nightmares is waning down to more bland 'why did that happen' kind of stuff, which is nice. Now my stress dreams are more about mopping up water from a broken pipe somewhere than someone's face being ripped off by some weird alien monster. I say this because I'm having stress dreams about publishing now, where family I haven't seen in decades is all gathered in one place and everything is ruined by a big water leak somewhere so everyone has to move all the chairs and food and I'm left to clean up the mess. Anyone could psyche analyze that one- I'm going to be saying stuff that a lot of people might not like, and/or set off a chain reaction of reactions.

soothing -->  <-- soothing

All right, what is the PLAN today? I got the very last meat we have in the house out of the big freezer yesterday to thaw, first thing this morning I'm putting a big turkey in the oven. Continuance with yesterday's organization plan, etc. Hey, I got a LOT done yesterday after I yapped on this blog, snapped right back into my old self like the last 4 1/2 months of feeling lost didn't even happen, so I'm feeling really good about going forward now. I'm home.