Day: January 15, 2014

  • bizness as usual

    I have purchased No idea yet what I'll be doing with it. I once owned my dotcom many years ago and let it go because I didn't know what I was doing. But now I'm going to own it whether I ever use it or not. I'm *hoping* that will be a good place to put press releases and merch info one day.

    I made a post called Better than wacked out zombie death in October after Scott's step-dad nearly died in his driveway on Scott's daughter's birthday. Kinda going through big stuff again, and once again, panic ensues. I'm not intentionally being mean, I'm just utterly tired of trauma dramas. I know Scott's mom is scared. I think the problem this time was his step-dad not allowing his *wife* in to talk to the surgeon before a simple laser surgery on his eye, he's memory/cognitive deficit and most likely didn't tell them he was on a blood thinner, most likely didn't follow instructions at home afterward and bent down to get something off the floor, a nick from surgery popped open and he's been bleeding out his eye for days now. One of my biggest complaints with the medical system is the stupid privacy thing where the person who is most wanting to help you and can actually save your life isn't allowed into a room to convey important info to the caregiver if the patient says so. This went on for 5 years in a nursing home with my mother, too. In spite of me having durable power of attorney and me signing papers commanding them to go through my dad when I couldn't be there, they kept insisting on asking my mother what her pain level was even when she was severely cognitive deficit and unable to talk, a smile and a nod from her and they assumed she wasn't in any pain, and she would cry after they left the room. She was raised to be polite and happy when you greet people, and that deeply ingrained habit was mistaken for years by busy caregivers as actual communication.

    Stuff like this gets me upset, so moving on.

    On days like this all plans fly out the window, so no plan today. I have a haircut at noon, hasta tame this crazy stuff before I go crazy and whack it myself. Which I'm well known for in my family. I've butchered my hair many times out of exasperation because I can't stand hair in my face, so I see today's appointment as a vital step in avoiding regret later, so I'm not canceling this again. I had to reschedule last week because I was iced in.

    After that, who knows. Might be taking a xanax to my mil, and I'll probably be picking something up for supper. In the meantime, I'll take my notebooks with me in case I write more, and keep this song running through my head so I can deal with other people's stress. My psychologist has approved distraction as a means for coping with depression, anxiety, and all my little aspie-isms (some aspies call them oddizms, you know like autisms) in social situations. I keep something going on the back burner in my mind while people talk, and believe it not, that actually helps me respond more appropriately than if I toss all my stuff out and try to pay attention to the stressed out yapper. Again, not intentionally being mean, but some people have no idea how utterly patient I have learned to become, because it's so easy for a person like me to turn around and walk away while I'm having my own overload shutdown from other people's crises. If I can keep a rhythm going over and over in my head it becomes a neural stim and helps me cope with the sensory overload headaches I get. So here I go, hopefully the day gets better from here for all involved while I ponder on my dotcom purchase.


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