I *did* have a frickin awesome Monday! My dentist is dang awesome, have a long history of salvaging broken teeth with him from all my TMJ spasms and grinding my teeth in my sleep. I asked if we could try just sealing it first since the tooth is still in such awesome shape anyway, besides part of it going AWOL last fall. He has rebuilt teeth for me before with a bonding material that hardens up super fast, and he said sure, we could try that again and if it doesn't work he'll just deduct what I paid for that today from what the crown he originally wanted to do would cost. (This isn't the first time we've tried it, don't know why it's not the standard first action for repair before something so rough as crowns are done.) So right off the bat that dropped $600 off and canceled the second appointment, BOOYA!!!

He also said it was the best I've ever handled sitting there with my mouth open that long. I'm usually antsy to begin with, and that's before all the smells and sounds and vibrations. Don't get me wrong, I'm having a jim dandy nearly nasty jaw spasm and all kinds of odd shooting pain referring around the roof of my mouth and skull and rebounding off the roots of all my teeth, and my speech is already slurring a little from all the musculature in my tongue root and throat and jaw spasming up, but right now I can actually still think. (It's 3:45 pm Monday right now.) I used to make 'cocktails' out of my meds, so I staggered some benadryl early on about an hour before the meloxicam (benadryl is a potentiator- check that out for a laugh) and then two hours later just before my appointment I took half a zyrtec with half a xanax. I figured zyrtec might also potentiate since it's an h1 antihistamine like benadryl, and it also crosses the brain barrier so it's good for anxiety, and between all that I was able to mimic a vicodin experience even though I hadn't had an opiate. I made it through 45 actual minutes of flexed-neck-jaw-open stillness and only had to stop him once briefly when my jaw suddenly spasmed, didn't want to bite the guy and screw up what he was doing.

THIS is how spoonies learn to get through pain. We know our drugs. Sadly, what I have available now is very limited and already wearing off, so I'm on my own the rest of the evening. And since I have a history of this kind of fibro trigger lasting for several days, I need to get my attention back on moving around and staying busy so my muscles can keep stretching out. I might not be able to chew for awhile. The year Scott's girl was in first grade my TMJ/fibromyalgia was so bad that I would hide during lunchtime on my job so no one would see me cry when my jaw locked up around a bite of food, and Thanksgiving that year I could only eat potatoes and gravy. I've learned in the years since how NOT to keep triggering and how to help it relax back out. First thing I have to do is shut this laptop and walk away, so I'm going to make some cream of wheat for supper. See ya.

Will I rise to my own challenge?

Saturday- Everyone agreed nearly 100 degree heat & over 80% humidity won't be the way we spend the next burrito birthday party. Scott loaded and unloaded vehicles after driving a loaded pickup all over creation without AC, then stood in the blazing sun cooking hot dogs over a real fire, which made me really nervous. He's always been comfortable with heat, and was a happy guy mowing grass in 106 degree heat a couple of years ago, but suddenly went into a scary acute vasculitis flare that took over a month to calm down with heavy steroid doses, so it's hard for me not to walk on pins and needles through the late summers now. I'm going to borrow a friend's birthday cake pic because I think it looks cool.

Sunday- We were all exhausted, but it was Scott's turn for birthday, so despite not doing anything special at all, burrito and her mama came over to give him birthday cards and we spent a few hours visiting. Aside from catching up the laundry and cooking supper, I refused to lift another finger since I'd made it to the party the day before to help, against all good sense and medication heat warnings. This cake is from eight years ago.

Today- I get to spend two hours at the dentist prepping for a new crown on a tooth that has been broken for at least eight months but has never yet gotten a cavity because I'm such a freak about keeping my mouth clean. Just getting my teeth cleaned for a few minutes triggers nasty fibro spasms around my neck and jaw for several days and last time I wound up with a cluster headache, so today I'm expecting no less than nasty headaches and spiky pain going in all directions after I hold a pose with my head at an odd angle and my jaw open for much longer than that. I'm allowed ONE pain pill a day, so I'm planning very carefully when I take it, since I have to wait 24 hours to take it again. If I take one this morning, I can take another one when I get up tomorrow, but if I wait until it's all over to take it, I'll be able to sleep better, but then I can't take another one until tomorrow afternoon.

People who have never been through spinal flare ups and a painful liver condition at a young age from meds probably think this is an easy problem to solve. Pop some pills and enjoy an adult beverage. See, that's how I got here in the first place. A guy on twitter recently announced he has cirrhosis of the liver, but the lucky skunk doesn't have any pain with it. I've been living with a scarred liver since my 30's, and my liver swelled up and made me very sick for months when I got a simple virus in my 40's that many people toil through for a week thinking they have the 'crud'. My doctors take me very seriously. If that virus flares up again it could kill me. Enjoying adult beverages and popping pills will only expedite the liver fail process. SO. I am planning for a rough couple of days. I'm really good at getting through pain nowadays, but I might have to put a caution sign on my forehead so Scott will know to dive out of the way when I open my mouth and 20 foot flames shoot out.

A nice side effect of not popping pills and enjoying adult beverages is that people don't realize I'm this old. I don't wear makeup because I'm allergic to citrus and nuts (both of which saturate the beauty industry) so I can't fake it like the ladies in that link who have more money than I have do, and about 9 months ago I passed a stress test on a treadmill as if I were in my 20's. I hydrate well and eat lots of veggies and extra protein. I don't take more than a multivitamin, and I get my probiotics in yogurt and prebiotics in my whey mix. I'm super high risk for several cancers, and since my mom died of rampant diabetes destroying her brain with hundreds of TIAs and major strokes, I take very seriously what I put into my mouth. If I go by average age in my family history, I have about 10 or 15 more years to live, if I'm lucky, because I obviously have even more medical challenges than they did. A doctor told me in my 20's that I'd be blind and in a nursing home by 40. Thanx to new developments in pharmaceuticals happening right around the time he said that, I'm still living at home and still have my vision.

These are all the things that go through my head before I do something big that I know will spike my pain levels through the roof. I'm pretty sure the trigeminal pain in my left ear will feel like an ice pick stabbing into my brain for several hours or maybe even a couple of days after I see the dentist today. I decided last week that I'm taking this week off. THIS WEEK IS MY VACATION. I might just be turning off the tech and redecorating my house staying busy. By redecorate I mean excavate and tear down curtains to wash and plow through rearranging drawers and stripping floors, and God help us all if I start washing windows.