February 6, 2014

• because there is no Gumby Spock in this world

  The last couple of days have been ridiculously unbendy.

  Hm. You'd think someone would have come up with a Gumby Spock by now... *search engine queen* But wow, the piles of other really cool and weird stuff showing up on that image search is totally worth it. I think the dead Spock flask was the most disturbing. You can click this pic to see more.

  

  Ok, where was I? I don't know how Vulcans deal with getting stiffer as they get older, but I generally heave-roll out of bed and practically crawl to a heating pad on the couch, invariably thinking of the word 'unbendy' and then all kinds of 'Gumby', so I fear my last thoughts in a nursing home will be of Gumby. People taking care of me will think I have a Gumby obsession when that boils down to all I can articulate in my senility, although quite the opposite is true- I have feared Gumby since I was a child. My mom used to set me down in front of Gumby cartoons and I would quietly fear googly eyed string lipped dolls the rest of the day. She even bought me a Gumby once because she mistakenly thought I liked him, raptly staring so hard at the show I guess ***ASPIE***, and I found a way to mutilate that thing and make it disappear.

  I've probably got a good 30 years (I hope) before I ever go into a nursing home, but they say prepare for the worst, right? I believe in preparing early. I must tattoo somewhere on my body "Please don't plague me with Gumby dolls." That'll stimulated conversations and horrible pranks galore, so I'll be very popular in the nursing home.

  At any rate, this is your screwed up lower back on coffee and a heating pad, and now it's time to get to WORK. I need something really strong today.

  • 7:19 am
  • Comments Off